The 2016 Mazda Miata files for its man card
Everybody! Please! Lets be quiet for a moment so the meeting can start! Thank you. As you all know, this is the monthly meeting of CAPRI, Cool Alphas Preferring Roadsters Intentionally, and Im your host and mostly unashamed Boxster owner, Jack Baruth. The main topic for this meeting is the next-generation Mazda Miata. Gentlemen, I know there are some dissenting voices in the group—yes, you with the Sunbeam Tiger in the back, you can calm down, please—but I think Mazdas done it this time. I think theyve finally made a Miata fit for a man. Quiet, everybody! I SAID, QUIET! All of you, in the corner, with your Spec Miata trophies, PLEASE! Here at CAPRI, we know that roadsters are the obvious choice for men on the move. Whether were talking forty-eight-horsepower Midgets or rip-snorting supercharged Jaguar F-Types, theres no doubt in this meeting that its a very manly thing to own a two-seat convertible of, shall we say, modest proportions. RELATED: The 2016 Miata MX-5 sheds 220 lbs But even with that stipulation, I think we all have to agree that the Miata has occasionally made things tough for us. Yes, its the most popular club-racing car in anyones memory, but you do have to admit that at times in the model history, the Miata has been a bit, well, delicate, I dont want to put too fine a point on it, but some of our larger members look like circus bears in the thing, Im just saying … Please, PLEASE! Stop throwing lug nuts at me! I repeat, Im just saying that in the modern context of hyper-powered SUVs and minivans with nearly three hundred horses under their snub noses, the Miata has seemed a bit low and slow. And you have to admit that the styling has never really been aggressive, and at times, particularly recently, has verged upon the smiley-faced … OW! STOP THROWING THINGS! Everybody, settle down! As I was about to say, the new Miata answers all of these concerns and then some! Look at the design of it! Lean, mean, curvy, somewhere between a Jaguar E-Type and a BMW Z4! I know, I know, theres some distinct similarity between the new car and the Simpson Italia bodykit for the first-gen, but didnt we all like the Italia? Of course we did. RELATED: How 2800 miles in a half-dead Miata prepared me to appreciate the new one The nose of this new Miata—pure aggression! The low doors, bringing you visually closer to the road rushing beneath you! The tail of the thing, which has been actually styled for the first time in the cars history! How can you not love it! This is what the Miata should have looked like since Day One. Finally, we have something that says mako shark, not mackerel! The sixteen-inch standard wheels, restoring some sense of proportion to the body. Four lug bolts. Finally, a new car where they didnt make the wheels bigger than the main landing gear on the B-36. This is progress, CAPRI-style, and it makes the Miata look perfectly sized as a result. When you keep the weight and size down, you dont need twenty-inch steamrollers. And the weight is down, about two hundred pounds. Power should be up, although you Mazdaspeed Miata owners in the fourth row probably wont have to worry about losing your pink slips in a little late-night illegal roadster race action. This should be the quickest, best-balanced, most-capable normally-aspirated Miata in history. So, lets review. It looks the business, front and back, like no other Miata in history. Its got the right powerplant, the right weight balance, and the right running gear. In an era where everything else has been super-sized with reckless abandon, the Miata has been right-sized. They even managed to throw in some styling while they were at it. Who here thinks this is the most manly Miata in history? Raise your hands! Its unanimous, then. This is the coolest, toughest Miata yet. Are we not men? Do we not love Miatas? Is this not the answer to our prayers? The answer to all of the above is: YES!